Stage fright

So, it’s been a bit of a journey, but I think I’m getting back into the groove. Somehow. The stars align properly, nobody cuts me off on the drive home, the cats don’t give me a hard time, who knows?

(Although, I did have a rather large, fluffy cat decide that my arms were the best place to lay as I was writing last night. I could barely see over her to the computer screen, and I still somehow managed 1k words.)

In any case, re-reading back through my first 18,000 words somehow rekindled the, uh… passion? Nah, too srs. In any case, it put me back into the right state of mind. “Here’s the style, conflict, characters, and the setting I was writing.” Less imagining what could be, will be, more realizing I have something, and it’s good, and hey, do more like that.

So now I’m debating with myself, now , whether to open up the pages I have the story posted on to the public or not. I can list the positives…

  • More eyes equals more involvement (from critique, opinions, random thoughts or comments from others), which in turn will make me discuss it more, and (if the past is any sign) be more exited about it.
  • More crap grammar errors will likely be caught. Yay!
  • Really, I need the negative criticism. I might not like it, but I’ll never get better without it.

I’m sure there’s more, but the negatives are stifling them. Negatives that would take me hours to put down, and would make this post entiiiiiirely too long. Mostly anxiety-based ones, a lot rehashing point #3 above along with “nobody will like it, you write like a third grader nyaaaah“. Feel free to imagine an 8-year-old saying that, because that’s what the voice in my head sounds like. Also, that some random person is going to read it, decide they like it, and STEAL IT NOOOOOOO! Yeah, nothing’s safe on the internet. Or maybe I just panic too much.

In any case, that’s it. At this point, I can’t find enough positives to outweigh my mountain of worries as far as posting the story publicly goes. Sure, they’re mostly worries, but it’s more comfortable to me. I want to be able to justify “this move will help you, silly” but I can’t. I don’t even know where I want things to go once I finish editing.


The reason I posted this, though, was to get opinions on the matter. So if you think I’m being a big pansy, let me know, I can take it, yeah. (*cower*) Or… whatever. I don’t want to be cliché and say “discuss”, but…




4 thoughts on “Stage fright

    • Oh, I know, but… I would appreciate knowing why you think what you think, if it’s not too big of a deal. :P

      *nervous glance*

      if it’s okay ._.

      • I think you making yourself so vulnerable is a good thing. You don’t do that often, and I think it will help you break out of your shell with this writing thing. The more people that are reading it, the more suggestions and criticism you will get, and the better it will get done. And I think it will give you more motivation when you’re under the eyes of others rather than just me.

        Also, I think you have a great talent that you need share with everyone.

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