The PT sessions are starting to get harder to sit through. I think Arya’s caught on that we’re trying to “force her” to do something and she resists a lot more now. Well, that and wails. With big alligator tears and everything. Of course, whenever I hand her a remote control or my phone or what-have-you, the crying stops immediately. What a ham.
We’re ever-switching focus from “eh, don’t have to crawl” to “let’s see what she does on her hands and knees” to “let’s try to get her to cruise” and my head is kinda spinning a little bit to be honest. I know the PT knows what she’s doing and after several weeks, she knows Arya very well. Most of the time, all she has to do is put her hand on Arya’s waist and Arya will do exactly what we’re trying to get her to do. So we know she can do it. There’s no pain, just stubbornness. She just doesn’t know why we want her to do it, and she’s just fine scooting on her butt, thankyouverymuch.
I have to be completely honest that I am very, very impatient. I’m impatient with everything in my life (I hate art that takes longer than a few minutes to make which is why I rarely do anything other than doodle), so waiting for her to catch up to everyone else is torturous. I feel a bit helpless, and watching younger kids at storytime walk makes me, well, a little bit jealous. I long to watch her toddle across the library, to grab a book and take it with her while we walk together to the checkout. Thinking these things is just making it worse, I know. I really don’t know how to help the impatience, though, and I wish I knew what to do.
Yesterday during the PT’s visit, we had her try to cruise along the couch. We used a remote control to entice her, and she was doing it all on her own. Switching her weight from one foot to the other, and picking them up all by herself. The catch? The PT’s hand had to be on her waist at all times. She wouldn’t do it unless she felt the touch. The PT didn’t even need to hold her, she was standing fine and well all on her own, just too… scared? to do it on her own. So that’s a pretend first. I can’t really (and don’t want to) call it a first but… I can pretend.
The second new thing she did yesterday was say “baby”. She was holding the little baby figure from her dollhouse and started her usual babbling, which contains a lot of B sounds. So she said “baybwee” in there somewhere. And when we clapped and got all excited, she kept repeating those two syllables. Did she know that what she was holding was a baby? We tell her the names of what she’s holding, so maybe she did. But we helped her isolate those two syllables and… well, there’s another pretend first. Hahaha.
And then of course there’s the whole pulling herself up thing. She’ll only do it on the bed, where it’s very obviously stable, up the headboard facing the wall. It’s cute. She does it mostly straight-legged, but I watched her do it yesterday with her legs bent at first. It’s another pretend first in my eyes because of the straight-legged way she does it, but I’m not so sure of this one, either. Since I saw her do it “the right way”, I’m starting to wonder if she could do it in other places. I think she’s scared elsewhere though, because of stability issues. The bed’s not going anywhere, but her standing piano toy thing? That feels like it’s going to tip over any second.
I don’t know. I don’t want to delude myself with these thoughts of “pretend firsts”. I suppose all I can do is look at them and say she’s on her way.